


I Was Waiting For You

by PekoIsBaby



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Autistic Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, He/Him Pronouns for Fujisaki Chihiro, M/M, Minor Ikusaba Mukuro/Maizono Sayaka, Not explicitly stated but that is my headcanon, Sweet boys I love em
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29229966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PekoIsBaby/pseuds/PekoIsBaby
Summary: Taka wakes up dead. Someone is waiting for him.
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 16
Kudos: 125





	I Was Waiting For You

**Author's Note:**

> AAAA OKAY THIS 
> 
> THIS IS THE FIRST FIC I EVER WROTE FOR DANGANRONPA
> 
> Granted, it's edited to hell and back because the original was Bad, but STILL
> 
> My o r i g i n s 
> 
> I love these characters and this ship so so much, they're just really important and good and I love them and they deserved HAPPINESS AA
> 
> In my playthrough of Danganronpa (I played with my friends), the person who voiced Taka used a really high-pitched, sorta reedy/breathy voice (think a voice crack, but all the time), so if you want to read this fic the way I wrote it, take this into consideration /lh
> 
> Spoilers for chapter 3 of THH, I saw what happened and immediately ran to write this because I was so upset so there really aren't any spoilers Beyond that (plus the. Interesting development that you might notice if you've finished the game. At the time, it was just because I didn't know, but I choose to believe that it's intentional and that they will eventually find out and hilarity will ensue). 
> 
> Trigger warnings include death, panic attacks, the afterlife (not attached to any religion but still), mentions of suicidal thoughts and depressive episodes, and one tiny sex joke. He/him pronouns will be used for Chihiro, so if you're uncomfortable with that, probably skip this one. 
> 
> Otherwise, enjoy!

Taka woke up in a white space. He instinctively closed his eyes against the glare, leaving himself to the cool dark nothingness behind his eyelids, but his mind started reeling. 

He was himself again. That was the first thought in his mind. He couldn’t ‘feel’ Mondo anymore, the way he had been ever since his discussion with Alter Ego. After a day of having something louder than the buzzing in his head, Taka found himself almost painfully alone. 

Where was he? For a moment, he allowed himself to hope that he had somehow managed to get out. That the brightness was the glare of the sun on his face, that he simply hadn’t left his eyes time to adjust. Carefully, he opened his eyes again. Just like before, he was in a bright, empty, white room. Or… maybe room wasn’t the right word. Room implied walls, a ceiling, a floor. Instead, it was as though he was suspended in a void of white. There was something solid underneath his feet, but it looked no different from the space around him or above him. He figured he could walk forever.

The truth came to him in flashes - a mallet, a room, a face that filled him with surprise, then horror, then confusion - and left him on the floor, gaze clouding with tears. He vehemently wished he could take apart the puzzle as soon as he’d pieced it together, but it stayed, clean and colorful and precise. 

Kiyotaka Ishimaru was dead. He’d been killed by Hifumi Yamada over ten million dollars and the promise of escape. 

Taka swallowed a wave of nausea as he trembled, head still pressed against the ground, unable to stand. 

He wasn’t ready to die. He had things to do. He had a future, he had food to eat and jokes to laugh at and friends to make. He had, admittedly, lost a lot, but he was going to come back. He had been starting to pick up the pieces, no matter how shattered or crumbled some were. Yes, he had thought about death a little more than he was willing to admit (late at night, curled up in his room, wishing for arms to snake around him and lips to press against the top of his head, shaking as his hands only met empty air, it was startlingly easy to wish to disappear), but he hadn't known. He couldn't have known. If he'd known how death would feel, surely, he would've wanted to survive. He had been _going_ to survive, and now… Taka waited for his heart to race, for his breath to quicken, for any sign of panic other than the rush of aching horror in his chest, but none came. He wasn’t breathing at all. The second that thought entered his mind, it opened the door to a million thoughts, each crueler and more painful and sharper than the last, until he couldn’t think anything concrete, anything definable, anything real. 

He’d promised. The words surfaced under a wave of terror. He’d promised Chihiro and Mondo that he’d live for them. He’d made… he’d made a man’s promise. And he’d broken it. He hadn’t had the chance to take it seriously. 

God, what would Mondo think of him? 

He let himself cry, hating himself for it, wishing he could rip his skin off and destroy any weakness lying beneath. He’d always done his best to wear his heart on his sleeve, but he’d worked even harder to get up. Be a grown-up. Stand up against adversity. Breathe through it. 

He couldn’t breathe anymore. 

Taka wasn’t sure how much time had passed. Things felt different here - as though an hour had passed in a minute, or, perhaps, a minute in an hour, or maybe it had really only been a few seconds - and after a few moments of confusion, Taka just gave up. If this was his eternity, he supposed he could waste some of it wallowing. 

“H- hey, what the fuck?” Taka felt shock ripple through him. He hadn’t expected to hear anyone else here. More importantly, though - _so_ much more importantly - he recognized the voice. 

He almost jumped to his feet, turning desperately, searching for the source of the sound, until, finally, his eyes landed on a shape. The tall, broad silhouette of Mondo Owada, staring at him, eyes wide. He looked frozen, like a deer in the headlights, focused entirely on Taka. 

For a moment, Taka couldn’t move. He couldn’t form a complete thought in his head. He couldn’t do anything, besides stare at Mondo. He almost couldn’t believe it was real, that he was really there, but he blinked again and again and Mondo didn’t go away. He was real, and solid, and here, from his dark, sweeping coat to his dramatic eyeliner to that _stupid_ _freaking_ _hair_ \- 

Taka was running. He didn’t realize he had told his feet to move, but they were pounding against the nothingness underneath his shoes, slapping his soles almost painfully as he bolted towards Mondo, finally slamming into him, clawing at his shirt, pulling himself closer, closer, until he was certain that he could really feel him beneath his hands, against his chest, on his face as he buried his head into Mondo’s shoulder and began to sob, entire body shaking so violently he was almost afraid Mondo might drop him. 

But he didn’t. Instead, he just embraced him back, shockingly steady. “Hey, bro.” 

Taka felt a laugh come almost painfully out of his throat. “Hey, bro,” he echoed, voice about an octave higher than usual (the sound almost hurt his ears. He didn’t care). 

Mondo tried to pull away to look at him, but Taka grabbed closer. He couldn’t get enough of it, of holding Mondo, of feeling him and knowing it was real. Mondo gave up and went back to wrapping his arms around Taka’s back, squeezing gently. “Taka, I… shit, man, I didn’t want to see you here.” 

Now Taka felt himself pull away, eyes searching Mondo’s, heart dropping to his stomach. “You… I beg your-”

“-Not like that,” Mondo interrupted. “God, no, not like that. I missed you, Taka, I missed you… so, so much, but… I didn’t want you to come so soon, y’know? I thought… I really thought you were gonna make it.” 

Taka lowered his eyes. “I apologize,” he mumbled, hating himself more and more by the moment. “I was... shamefully unable to… I failed you. I failed both of you. I-”

“No, Taka… aw, jeez, I didn’t mean it like that, I just… I wanted you to live. That’s all.” Taka lifted his head to look at Mondo. There were tears in the taller boy’s eyes, but his face was strong, his half-smile warm. “God, Taka, it’s so fucking good to see you.” 

Taka felt himself smile, too. It was almost ridiculous: here he was, dead, in whatever hellish nothingness he was presumably stuck in for the rest of his life, and he was stupidly, inexplicably, and absolutely happy. “Bro, as your closest confidant and dearest companion, I believe that it is my sworn responsibility to inform you that that’s gay.” 

When Mondo tipped his head back to laugh, his hair loomed over Taka semi-threateningly. When Taka had first seen Mondo, he’d longed to take a pair of scissors to that weird cone of hair (what was it there for? Was it heavy? How did it even work without falling over? Did Mondo have hair gel in his room, or was it just like that? Why couldn’t Taka stop staring at Mondo?), but now it was almost endearingly goofy. The head of a giant biker gang, who could hardly get through a sentence without cursing and who didn’t take crap from anyone… had a giant armadillo on top of his head. It was cute. Mondo was almost insufferably cute. 

“I really do hate to ruin this moment…” Taka glanced around. “But where are the others?” 

“Huh?” Mondo looked back down, and Taka only allowed himself to bask in the adoration clear in the other’s eyes before he focused on the line of questioning. 

“The other students?" Taka clarified. "Sayaka, Junko, Leon, et cetera? They are here, aren't they?” 

“Oh!” Mondo reached backwards to scratch his neck. “I actually… I don’t know. It’s been just me for a long while. Ever since… since it happened.” He stared at the floor for a few moments before continuing. “Every so often I’ll see… someone… like, not someone I recognize, just random people… but they always fade after a couple seconds. I haven’t seen any of the other students, so I’m assuming you’re the first since…”

“I… yes. I'm the first.” As Taka spoke, he saw a shape appear in the space. A large, squat boy in a school uniform stood before them, blinking his beady eyes. Eventually, they fixed on the two of them.

“T-Taka?” Hifumi opened his mouth to say more, but nothing came out. 

“Hifumi?” Taka didn’t leave Mondo’s side, but he called out to Hifumi anyway. “That was remarkably fast, Hifumi, how-” What would he ask? How did you get caught so quickly? How did you cover up your crime? How could you do this to me? Either way, it didn't matter, because there was no response. It was as though Hifumi didn’t hear him. 

Mondo sighed, seemingly unfazed. “He’s not staying for long. They never do. He’s going… wherever everyone else goes. I don’t know why we’re different.” Indeed, Hifumi was disappearing, faster and faster. Taka tried very hard to be sad to see him go. 

"He killed me." Taka spoke softer than he probably ever had in life, but it felt like something that you needed to say quietly. 

Mondo grabbed Taka's hand, and Taka could feel him shaking with rage. "I'll kill him. I'll fucking kill that piece of shit." 

"Even if that were possible, I wouldn't want you to." Taka squeezed Mondo's hand, and then rested his other hand on top of it, holding him until he relaxed and nodded. 

"Right. I... I'm sorry, dude." 

SIlence filled the space between them. 

“Do you miss being alive?” The question popped out before Taka had considered the weight of it. To his credit, Mondo didn’t seem too fazed.

“Parts of it, yeah. A lot of the little things, y’know? I miss breathing. I miss my heart beating. I miss being able to taste food. That’s a big one. I miss… I dunno, I miss fucking pancakes.” Taka flinched. Yikes. “I’m realizing now that I really miss you being alive.” Mondo stared directly into Taka’s eyes. Taka stared back, unable to look anywhere else. “I miss feeling your breath. I miss hearing your heartbeat. I miss… god, you’re so cold now.” He laughed softly. “Now that I say all that out loud, it sounds pretty fucking creepy, huh? But it’s true. Everything felt so much more concrete when I was alive. I can still feel your… look.” He reached up to cup Taka’s face, heart-achingly gentle. “I can feel your face in my hand, but it’s different, right?” It was. It was like he was remembering the feeling, rather than experiencing it in the moment. Taka nodded, still incapable of speech. Mondo was so close. “I miss feeling you, Taka.” It was strange. Taka was sure that, had they both been alive, he would feel Mondo’s breath on his face. He couldn’t, of course, but the differentness was… okay. He would make this the new normal. That was the last thought in his head before Mondo closed the gap and kissed him. 

He was right, it was different. There was a separateness from the action, from the sensation, from the scratch of Mondo’s light stubble and the press of his fingers against Taka’s arm. But, Taka realized, there was no difference in how it made him feel. In how his heart swooped, how he had to fight off a smile because that might ruin it. Love didn’t feel any different. 

They broke apart, but didn’t move to get away from one another. Taka rested his chin on Mondo’s shoulder, reveling in the feeling of having him back. It was safe. It was joyful. It was almost perfect. 

“I love you,” Mondo said, voice barely above a murmur. The sound tickled Taka’s ear slightly, but he forced himself to hold in a giggle. 

“I love you, too.” Was it his imagination, or was the brightness around him growing brighter? “Mondo, I couldn’t… I was unable to maintain my composure, following your absence. I need to apologize for that. I wanted to do better, but it was..." He felt his throat tighten. "It was unspeakably difficult, and I let it overtake me. I'm so, so sorry. I was... I was so _gone_." Taka's voice cracked on 'gone.' 

“Taka, look.” Mondo pulled away to speak, but then he looked down at his hands. He was getting… paler? No, not paler, more… translucent. As Taka looked down, he realized that he was the same way. They were both fading, faster and faster. Mondo stared at Taka, before letting out a bark of laughter.

“What?” Taka felt himself laugh, too, but he was a blink away from panic. Where would they go?

“Bro, I think my brain just started working for the first time in ten years.” Mondo gestured around. “This is… this is like the waiting room. Everyone else was ready to go, so they only had to stay here a few seconds, but… but I was different. I didn't get why, but I had to wait a little while.” He grabbed Taka, pulling him close. “I get it now. I was waiting for you, Kiyotaka.” He pressed his lips against Taka’s as they both dissolved into light. 

Taka woke up in a park. It was large, filled with grass and trees and, far away, a sparkling stream. It seemed to be the middle of summer - everything was green and lush and full - but the breeze playing against his skin was downright pleasant. He sat on a bench, hand entwinedwith another larger hand. He turned to see Mondo. He was dressed in a clean white t-shirt and jeans (how was an outfit that boring so goddamn _hot_ , it wasn’t even a little bit fair). Taka checked to realize that he was still in his uniform (thank god). Mondo was sitting beside him, eyes blinking as they adjusted to their surroundings. Finally, they landed on Taka. Mondo’s smile was blinding. 

“Where are we?” Taka’s voice came out soft, filled with wonder. 

“Who fucking knows, dude?” Mondo pulled him up. “Wherever we are, I’d say it’s better than the waiting room.” 

“Hey, watch it!” 

A ball came hurtling towards Mondo, catching him square in the back of his head. He blinked, but didn’t seem too hurt. A figure came running up to them, waving his hands in apology. 

“Shit, dude, I’m so sorry, I didn’t- wait, Mondo? Taka? What’re you guys doing here?” Leon cocked his head, eyes filled with concern. He had his usual jacket tied around his waist, but otherwise he was dressed casually, with a t-shirt promoting some band Taka had never heard of. 

It felt strange, to speak of death so casually, but Taka still injected enthusiasm and brightness into his voice as he spoke. "I was murdered just a short while ago. I believe Hifumi could help fill in some of the details there. As for Mondo, he..." He trailed off. His voice failed. Leon seemed to get it, though.

“Ah, damn. Sucks.” Leon brightened. “But hey, it’s pretty cool out here. Not a terrible place to spend eternity.” 

“Leon!” The high, bright voice came from behind Taka, and he whirled around to see Sayaka practically dragging Junko behind her as she rushed to greet them. They were inexplicably dressed in matching crop tops and shorts, and, although Junko was fighting to keep an irritated expression on her face, it just wasn’t sticking. “Oh, hi, guys! Funny seeing you here, or- I guess it’s not that funny, but you… you know what I mean, right?” She returned her focus to Leon. “You were supposed to meet me by the pavilion, we were gonna talk about writing something- Junko, will you stop trying to run away and accept that I need a drummer?” 

Junko rolled her eyes. “I’ve already told you, I’m not a musician. Mondo, Taka, tell her I’m not a musician!” Sayaka smacked her with a giggle. 

“Sayaka! Roughhousing is potentially incredibly dangerous, and, also, Junko isn't a-” Taka was immediately cut off. 

“Oh, please, anyone can bang on a drum set if given the proper direction! C’mon!” Sayaka grabbed Leon by the jacket and started tugging him behind her. “Now that I don’t have to worry about breathing, I wanna test how long I can hold a note!” 

“Okay, okay, don’t pull me!” Leon stopped. “Sorry to cut this short, guys, I promise we’ll catch up soon, but in the meantime… there’s, uh, someone who you should probably talk to. You especially, Mondo.” Mondo turned pale. Taka squeezed his hand gently. “I was actually teaching him to play baseball, so he, uh… he should be over there. Somewhere.” He lowered his voice. “Listen, man, the fact that me and Sayaka are this good is proof that it can work, okay? Don’t get too in your head about it. You’ll do great.” With a clicking of his tongue and finger guns, Leon was gone. Mondo slumped back against the bench. 

“Shit.”

“I am... confused as to why you are so distressed. You're going to have to speak to him eventually anyway, aren't you?” 

“Yeah, no, I know, it’s just…” he sighed. “I’m so sorry. To him, to you, to everyone who had to see what happened… to myself… to my brother… I’m so sorry, Taka. I don’t know what to do with all of this guilt.” 

“I can't pretend to be an expert on overcoming emotional turmoil, but I believe that speaking openly and honestly is the most highly recommended method." He knew he wasn't saying it right, but it was the only way that he could get it out at all. "Speaking to Chihiro once will make it easier to speak to him again, and again, and again, correct? The others will come around. I already have. And... and we will all be here if you need support regarding your brother. Nothing is going to be simple, and I apologize for that, but we will figure it out." 

Mondo rolled his eyes. “Jeez, since when are you a fuckin therapist?” 

“My dedication to my studies certainly helped me along, but I like to think it has more to do with your winning personality and precious face.” Taka grinned. 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” Mondo shoved him gently. “You’re a really good person, Taka. Like… ridiculously so. I just wish-”

“Mondo!” A small, pale blur threw itself at the bench, knocking Mondo’s neck against the wood. Taka looked down to see Chihiro, wearing a light yellow sundress, face buried in Mondo’s chest. 

“Ow,” said Mondo, giving Taka clear ‘help me’ eyes. Taka didn’t move. 

“You can’t feel pain here, silly.” Chihiro stood up, dusting himself off. “I’m so glad- well, obviously not glad- I mean, I guess? I’m glad everyone else isn’t here, anyway. Point is, it’s good to see you!” 

Mondo looked so small. Taka had never seen him look so small. “Yeah, I, uh… listen, Chihiro, I-”

“Yeah, I know.” Chihiro smiled widely. “What you did was unforgivable. I was vulnerable, you took advantage of a moment of honesty to take something away from me that I’ll never get back, blah, blah, blah. It was bad with a capital B, I know that. I’m pretty sure I know that way, way better than you do. But I forgave you immediately, Mondo. That was the easy part. Much harder was coming to terms with the fact that I’m not alive anymore, and… yeah, you took that from me, but it’s okay. In a really weird, messed-up way. It’s not your fault. That place… it showed us who we didn’t want to be. Our worst selves. You’re not that guy, Mondo, you’re… you’re a good person.” He laughed. “Can you tell I’ve been practicing this speech for a while? I guess I knew you wouldn’t get away with it.” 

Mondo seemed to find his voice. “I moved you. To the, uh… to the girl’s room. I didn’t want anyone to know that didn’t hear it from you.”

“That was nice of you,” Chihiro said quietly. “But I’m working on telling more people. Everyone who’s here knows.” 

“Yeah, they kind of found out, so… I guess that particular cat’s out of the bag now.” Mondo shook his head. “Look, I know you’ve forgiven me or whatever because you’re too sweet for your own good, but… don’t forgive too easily, okay? Be angry at me. And also… know that I’ve never been sorrier in my whole life.” 

“Thank you,” Chihiro said. His smile had slipped, but it was no less genuine. “That means a lot.” 

“For, uh, for what it’s worth…” Taka spoke up. “I’m sorry, too. I was Mondo’s… friend, if I… if I had stopped him, or-” He was cut off by Chihiro punching him directly in the gut. It didn’t hurt, but he still felt it. It was surprisingly solid. “What?”

“You idiot, of course I’m not angry at you for that!”

“Yeah, bro, that’s a stupid thing to worry about. You couldn’t have done shit, I’m really good at not following directions.” 

Taka scoffed. “Delinquent.”

“Goody two shoes.” 

Taka felt a smile, breathless (well, obviously) and open, spread across his face. “Mondo.”

Mondo’s smile grew to match. “Taka,” he said semi-teasingly.

Chihiro looked back and forth between the two of them. “Oh.” His smile widened, too. “Oh!” 

“Shut up.”

“Oh, that… yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I mean, what else would you two have been doing in the sauna all night?”

“Shut up!” Taka all but shoved Mondo towards Chihiro in an attempt to put distance between the two of them, face heating furiously. Chihiro almost fell over laughing. 

Mondo, infuriatingly, seemed totally cool and composed. “Yeah, listen, Chihiro, laugh all you want, I’m still getting more-”

“Nope!” Taka attempted (fruitlessly) to knock him over. “Not finishing that sentence!” He grabbed both of their arms. “Oh, look at that, can you believe it, Sayaka and Leon are probably doing something really cool! We should go watch!” 

The three boys ran across a field towards a white pavilion on a hill. As Mondo ran ahead, Taka turned to see Chihiro slump, turning pale and losing his enthusiasm. Taka moved to speak with him.

"Chihiro, are you alright?"

He nodded, catching his breath and blinking back tears. "Yeah. Yeah. I, uh... I know he needed to hear all that- and I meant it, really, I did, but... like I said, it was practiced." His eyes drifted to Mondo. "His face was the last thing I ever saw. That's not something I can just forget." 

"And you shouldn't," Taka agreed. "But he really is-"

"I know," Chihiro interrupted. "But I still have the right to be hurt by it." Chihiro's eyes widened. "I've never said that out loud before."

Taka blinked. "Chihiro, of course you can be hurt by it. You should. Was that ever a point of debate?" 

"Yeah, actually." Chihiro smiled, wiping away more tears. "But I've got it. C'mon, let's catch up." 

Taka and Chihiro ran until they were side by side with Mondo, and, somehow, it felt like their worries fell away behind them. Taka wasn't going to delude himself into thinking everything was easy, but, for now, things were good. 

Chihiro’s dress, as it turned out, twirled exceptionally, but Taka’s eyes never once left Mondo. He looked happier than he’d ever been in that goddamn school. And Taka, for the first time in weeks, felt something flutter against his chest. It was a stupid time to feel like this. He was dead, his boyfriend was dead, any friends that he ever saw again were dead, and he’d probably never see his family again. But, still, it persisted. Over the worry, and the guilt, and the pain, and the confusion, it lingered.

Hope. 

**Author's Note:**

> I *LOVE THEM* 
> 
> Ishimondo is seriously one of my favorite ships and I'd just die for them both djfkdhfdfhdf 
> 
> Headcanon that Mondo doesn't know about the butter thing and no one has the heart to tell him, until Celeste shows up and he says something like "wow I should bake a cake, do y'all know where I can get any butter?" (yes they bake in the afterlife and yes Mondo bakes shush) and Celeste tells him point-blank to stick his arm in the cake and 
> 
> "MONOKUMA DID FUCKING W HA T TO MY BODY-" 
> 
> Thanks for reading!! :D


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